Male Chastity, Chastity Cages, Submission & Locktober

Male chastity refers to the practice of limiting a man’s ability to engage in sexual activities, either through self-restraint or through the use of physical devices. Male chastity devices are devices designed to prevent a man from achieving an erection or engaging in sexual activity.

Chastity is the concept of orgasm control through devotion and submission. In plain words it has to do with controlled releases (orgasms) where one either physically wears a device or enters “mental chastity” with a partner where they abstain from traditional penile stimulation and releases. It is essentially handing the keys to the Ferrari to somebody else, and it is at their discretion if and when it goes out for a drive.

Within the realm of BDSM, the exchange of power is a cornerstone of the experience. Submissive individuals willingly cede control to their dominant counterparts, who guide and shape the scene according to agreed-upon boundaries. This power dynamic is rooted in mutual consent and trust, allowing both participants to explore their desires in a safe and consensual space. For many, the act of submitting to another’s will is empowering, providing a sense of liberation from societal norms and constraints.

While there are people who profess indefinite chastity, that is not the focus of this page of writing. Most men like to get off (eventually) whether through traditional orgasm, ruined orgasm, or prostate milking.

Common types of male chastity devices include:

• Cock cages: A cage-like device that fits over the penis to prevent erections.
• Chastity belts: A belt-like device that fits around the waist and covers the genital area to prevent access.
• Chastity plugs: A plug that is inserted into the urethra to prevent stimulation and erection.

If you need a cage, I recommend getting a custom chastity cage from Oxy. A lot of the ones on the market do not fit well, and everyone has different sizing. This way it’s measured, and makes for the best fit.

Click Here For a Custom Sized Cage

If you’re looking for a good comparison of the available pre-made choices, definitely check out The Secret To a Happy Marriage.

Chastity Couple

Solo Chastity

Self-locking involves an individual willingly donning a chastity device, relinquishing control over their own sexual pleasure, and embracing a journey of self-discovery that extends beyond the physical realm.

It might be because the person is either single, or their partner is disinterested in this sort of play, or they rather keep it hidden from their partner. I always encourage open communication with your partner and your kinks… Even though it might take some understanding and conversation, the outcome is usually a happier self!

Solo chastity opens up a fascinating discussion about the interplay between personal autonomy, vulnerability, and emotional growth. However it is often difficult to self-lock because there isn’t a method of enforcing compliance, and that is where these aspects kick in…

Clear Intentions: Self-locking practitioners often jump in without a clear understanding of their intentions. They get caught up in the kink and the porn instead of focusing on the personal growth, exploration, or enhancing emotional connections with their partner(s). Having a well-defined purpose can serve as a powerful motivator to stay committed, and it will be a much more enriching experience.

Setting Goals: Establishing achievable goals within the self-locking journey can provide a sense of accomplishment. These goals might include duration milestones, emotional breakthroughs, or experiences of vulnerability and submission.

Emotional Resilience: Developing emotional resilience is essential. Self-locking challenges may arise, such as discomfort, temptation, or doubt. Building emotional resilience helps navigate these moments and reinforces commitment.

Self-Reflection: Regular self-reflection allows individuals to assess their experiences, emotions, and progress. This practice helps understand motivations and adapt the approach as needed.

Support Networks: Connecting with like-minded individuals, whether through online communities, forums, or social media, provides a support network and can help with the over-arching goal of staying committed to the process.

That Doesn’t Sound Fun… Why Would I Give Up Control?

The act of giving up control holds a certain allure that has captivated a wide audience. Whether it’s within the context of BDSM, power dynamics, or intimate exploration, relinquishing control carries a profound significance in terms of intimacy and desire.

There is a community of chastity couples that practice femdom chastity as a means of improving their relationships. I am in this group. I believe the power of the male orgasm should rest squarely with my partner because if left to my own devices, I masturbate too often.

It is therefore up to your partner if, when, and how to release. This is sometimes referred to as femdom chastity, sissy chastity (which involves cross dressing to some extent), chastity cuckolds, and in some cases permanent chastity. But whatever you call it, and whether or not you choose to use a chastity device, it isn’t your decision anymore. And that should sound like fun if you’re really into this.

The act of giving up control revolves around the fundamental principle of surrendering one’s autonomy to another individual or even to a set of rules. This surrender is not a sign of weakness; rather, it reflects a conscious decision to explore vulnerability and trust within a controlled environment.

Communication and Trust

Open communication is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and in alternative dynamics, it becomes even more vital. The necessity of talking through desires, boundaries, and expectations cultivates a level of communication that goes beyond the surface.

You must be able to engage in explicit conversations about your needs and preferences, building a foundation of trust that’s rooted in mutual understanding. This heightened level of trust is crucial for both emotional safety and physical well-being if engaging in this type of play.

Empathy and Connection

The shared experience of giving up control encourages individuals to step into each other’s shoes, fostering empathy and compassion. The dominant partner learns to recognize the vulnerability of the submissive, while the submissive appreciates the responsibility and care exerted by the dominant. This mutual empathy deepens the emotional connection as both partners acknowledge and value each other’s experiences.

Regular Masturbation Is Selfish

Many men masturbate from their early teenage years to get rid of their boners and fail to learn how to cope with being horny. While this is relatively harmless in the beginning, over time it becomes a habit and it manifests itself into masturbating as a coping mechanism for processing emotions.

Merge this with habitual releases in the morning and before bed and before you know it it’s happening 3,4,5,6 times a day! That’s crazy! While your dick might be pushing its agenda, it is unlikely that the person is biologically still horny. It is simply a means of releasing endorphins and a distraction when you could spend that time improving yourself and your situation.

I’ve come to realize that male masturbation when in a relationship is selfish because I am no longer on the hunt for my needs to be met. While I was never at the point where I preferred masturbation over sex, I was not on the hunt like I am now. I wasn’t trying as hard in the marriage, and I was more concerned with meeting my needs than the needs of my partner.

You might be cutting your partner out of the fun!

Male Chastity Benefits

Male chastity can offer a number of benefits to those who practice it, both within the context of a BDSM relationship and outside of it. Some benefits include:

1. Increased intimacy: For some couples, chastity can deepen their emotional and intimate connection by building trust and allowing for greater communication.
2. Sexual control: Chastity can provide a sense of sexual control and domination for the partner who holds the key, while also allowing the other partner to surrender control.
3. Improved focus: For some men, abstaining from orgasm through chastity can increase focus, motivation, and productivity in other areas of life.
4. Enhanced anticipation: Chastity can increase sexual tension and anticipation, leading to more intense and satisfying experiences.
5. Personal growth: For some individuals, chastity can serve as a personal challenge or way of developing self-discipline and control.

It’s important to note that chastity is a personal choice and not for everyone. It’s important for those engaging in chastity to communicate openly, establish clear boundaries and expectations, and prioritize consent and respect.

Semen Retention Benefits

Semen retention has been shown to have several health benefits, but as with every thing balance is key.

• Reduced stress, increased testosterone levels
• You may experience a deeper more meaningful emotional connection with your partner
• Increased energy, focus, hair, and muscle growth
• Better sperm quality
• Increased sensitivity to stimuli
• Enhanced physical performance, strength, agility, endurance
• Heightened Libido
• Enhanced relationships
• Reduced fatigue

The Problem With Porn

Porn exacerbates the situation because it is ingrained into every aspect of our lives. Just go ahead and scroll through TikTok and Instagram… there are thousands of accounts that point to Only Fans pages. While porn does have an occasional role to play, it is certainly not the bread and butter of realistic sexual encounters!

It has exasperated one of the oldest tricks in the book. You pay (either literally or figuratively by watching ads) and as the customer, you are given what you paid for.

Pull this back into your relationship, and you’re getting off to some crazy ass porn! Your partner doesn’t know what you’re truly into, and all you know is the sex isn’t like it was at the beginning. Because you’re actually standing in the way.

But what if it could be like it was the “first” time?

Through chastity, I believe it can. Through a female led relationship (FLR), I believe it can. I have seen glimmers of it myself, and I think there is a lot of good it can do for you if you do it well!

If you’re fortunate to have a good partner, and you can trust each other it is absolutely worth it! Don’t force your kinks on them… the fun stuff will happen naturally over time. It takes patience, trust, and a lot of lube!

People interested in learning about chastity or becoming a chastity couple should check out The Secret to a Happy Marriage. It has excellent writings on the topic, and covers it in such an interesting and entertaining way.

Methods of Release

There are many ways to get release that do not involve traditional orgasms via masturbation. But any and all of it must come from the woman in charge.

Supervised Masturbation

In this scenario, the dominant may set rules and guidelines for the submissive’s self-stimulation, such as the type of stimulation, the pace, and the duration. The dominant may also use the opportunity to give additional instructions or to inflict physical or psychological stimulation, such as spanking or teasing.

Regular Sex

It’s during regular sex that the dominant woman may choose to either allow or deny the submissive’s orgasm during PIV sex. It is up to them in the moment either as a reward for good behavior or as a form of punishment to deny one. They may also use this opportunity to control the pace and duration of the sexual experience, or to add additional stimulation or elements of play to the encounter. One example may be introducing spanking, or cleaning up their ejaculate in a humiliating way.

Blowjobs / Handjobs

Receiving a blowjob or handjob from the dominant partner after wearing a chastity cage can be a special treat.

Ruined Orgasms

A ruined orgasm refers to a sexual stimulation technique in which a man is brought close to orgasm but prevented from fully reaching it. The goal of this technique is to create a sense of sexual tension and frustration. A ruined orgasm can be used to maintain a man’s sexual arousal and desire without allowing him to fully experience release. By continuously teasing and denying full orgasm, the man remains in a state of heightened sexual tension, making him more eager and ready for sexual stimulation when allowed. This is an excellent method for control and staying in a submissive mindset.

Prostate Orgasms / Anal Orgasms

This can be done caged or not, and is the main focus of this website. Anal orgasms, prostate orgasms, prostate massage, prostate milking are all excellent methods of retaining control over a male partner. I think this is one of the best methods of control over a submissive because it gives the dominant an endless supply of options for exerting that control.

For instance, the dominant may decide to give a manual prostate massage with or without the cage on. With the cage on, you are helpless and a ball of mush for them to do as they please. Without the cage, they may tease and deny to their heart’s content. Flick, spank, slap all they want.

If they don’t want to bother with the effort the dominant can tie their sub down and insert an Aneros for a hands free massage. All it requires is a bed, possibly some restraints, and maybe a blind fold.

PreJac

If your partner likes you finishing super fast, or if you want an easier method of leaking precum, you can incorporate trainings to speed up your process. The frenulum is a thin strip of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the glans (head) of the penis to the shaft. It is a highly sensitive area and can be a source of pleasure for some people during sexual activity. Stimulation of this area can result in a very intense sensation that can trigger a rapid ejaculation or orgasm. This is because the frenulum contains many nerve endings that can be very responsive to touch, pressure, and other types of stimulation. If you’d like to learn more about prejaculation as a fetish, please check out Prej.ac. They have tons of information on the subject, and can help those that last too long, finish in a matter of seconds.

Male Chastity & Locking The Cock